By: The Great Duhmimchi (Written May 6, 2015)
Some people have a knack for finding strange things; strange things always seem to find Zane Legends. And today was one of those times. Today was the day. His whole life had come to one moment- the final scene in which he would ultimately get what he thought he had deserved for so long.
That morning had been just like most others; until he went outside to collect the morning mail. He was overjoyed to find a small piece of paper, a seemingly insignificant thing. But what was written upon it would alter the course of his life, forever. He read the words slowly, eyes widening with every syllable.
"Grand opening of new all you can eat buffet. Free brunch for the fist 20 people."
The restaurant didn't open until 10am, "that leaves me plenty of time to take a shower and get ready," he said. Then he glanced down at the bottom half of the coupon. For all you early risers, samples will be served to everyone waiting in line. His head rushed with excitement, and before he knew what he was doing he was dressed and out the door. As he bolted to the address on the coupon he found his first bit of trouble.
"Who builds a restaurant on the 2nd floor of a building!?!?"
For a moment it appeared that his dreadful fear of stairs would get the best of him, yet again.
"NO! This is too important!" He shouted. He darted inside the building and nearly dropped to the floor with praise to the Almighty for what he found. A small sign in the lobby had caught his eye. It read: Elevator this way with an arrow pointing to his left.
"Yes! This might just be my day after all!"
When he boarded the elevator he was so overwhelmed with excitement that he failed to notice that it was going down first. Oh well, nothing can deter me from being in a good mood now, he thought. When the elevator stopped on the underground parking garage level the doors opened to reveal one of the most beautiful women that Zane had ever seen. She was just his height, with short black hair and deep green eyes. And for a single moment, their eyes met- it almost felt magical. But when she stepped into the elevator, his eyes darted to the person just behind her who was wheeling two large carts into the elevator that were draped in long table cloths that drug on the ground. There wasn't much space after the carts where finally wheeled into place, so the beautiful woman was forced to squeeze next to Zane in the far corner (which he didn't mind in the slightest). The person that wheeled the carts into the elevator soon realized that there wouldn't be any room for himself.
"Dang, now I have to make two trips. Blasted carts! It will take me all day to get these things up to the second floor!" The man said. "Well, I could just take the stairs. Yeah that would work." He allowed himself a triumphant grin that quickly turned to a sour frown when he saw how cramped the other passengers were. "Unless you folks have any objections. . . ."
"Nope, great here," Zane blurted out, with an awkward smile.
"I think I will survive," the woman said while rolling her eyes.
"Great," the man said. "I will race you two up there!" and with that the man was gone.
As the elevator ascended, so did the awkwardness of the situation. Zane was about to say something to break the tension when a ripping noise broke the silence. Their eyes darted to the elevator door, which was obviously being obstructed by the long table cloths; suddenly the elevator jerked to a stop right as they were almost to ground level.
"The table cloths must have caught on something in the shaft." The woman said.
"Thanks for pointing out the obvious," Zane muttered. He suddenly was flustered that their precarious situation might make him lose his place in line. "You must be some kind of rocket scientist," he murmured dryly.
The woman looked directly into his eyes. "Actually I went a different route," she said. "I got my doctorate in engineering. And it appears that the emergency mechanism in the elevator doors has been triggered by the deterrent to the upward momentum"- she took in his confused expression and smiled. "That means we stopped," she said. "I doubt they will start the lift again until they can send someone down the shaft to dislodge the cloth."
Zane was infuriated. Not only was he missing out on the possibility of free food, but he was now going to be stuck here with some snooty (and all-of-the sudden) not too pretty, snot of a woman.
"This is horrible! I am going to miss my free brunch, and any chance I had at eating breakfast!" His eyes turned away from the woman and onto the metal carts, "And it's entirely your fault, you stupid carts!" He began kicking furiously at the steel trays and table cloths. "I have nothing now, nothing!" He kicked more and more, if nothing else he would make some room to put between himself and this horrid woman. The carts began to shift, and the table cloths started to rip some more, then with a final kick the cloth was completely off and Zane stood nursing an aching toe and staring at the most beautiful thing he had even laid his eyes upon.
"Of course!" He said in a meek voice. "The man said he was heading to the second floor. That's where the restaurant is. They must have ordered this food for all the people in line to sample." It was amazing; there was honey baked ham, and potatoes soaked in gravy and butter, an enormous roast waiting to be sliced and soaking in roasted vegetables. "I have never seen so much meat! I just, I don't. . ." He couldn't speak. A single tear streaked down his cheek and he knelt before the trays of gourmet food. Awe hit him with such force that he almost forgot how hungry he was. . . .Almost.
He threw himself at the ham first, laughing giddily. He used the giant gravy ladle to scoop some mashed potatoes into his already full mouth. He tried to restrain himself, but it was just all too much to handle. He laughed, and laughed.
There was nothing that the woman could do, she just stayed in the corner and watched him; she stared as though she were watching some spectacle at the circus.
Zane's mouth hurt from chewing so fast and trying to suppress a laugh. He wiped the gravy off his mouth with the ripped table cloth and stared at the huge roast that appeared to be swimming in flavor. He paused to let the aroma creep into his nostril and fill his senses. Then he ripped a small piece off with his fingers. As he bit down a rush of savory flavor filled his mouth. It was nearly too much for him. He chewed slowly to take it all in; it was so...so....There was just no way to describe it. He stared up at the roast and finally let his emotions take him. Passion overwhelmed him and he lost control of his senses completely; and he wept. Sitting there, he suddenly smiled at the beauty that life had allowed him to witness, and taste.
"I, I love you," he said. Tears were gushing from his eyes, and made clear trails down his grease stained cheeks. The sweet tenderness of the meant was stupefying. All at once life made sense; love was real, he knew it, he felt it, he lived it. And now, he tasted it. Zane understood it all, and then as if he remembered a joke that no one else could hear- he laughed. He laughed.